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What's to Like About Retirement
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The terms comes with a 10% discount.
Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic, or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never-ending coffee break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR?
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your
own age and thinking surely I can't look that old.
Then....you'll love this one.
My name is Mary and I was sitting in the waiting room
for my first appointment with my new dentist.
I noticed his DDS diploma on the wall showing his full name.
Suddenly I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired guy with
the same name had been in my high school some 50 odd years ago.
Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on way back then?
When I saw him, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding
gray haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old
to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked if he had attended Mounds View
High School. " Yes, yes I did I'm a Mustang" he said with pride.
When did you graduate? I asked. He answered in 1960..why do you ask?
You were in my class! I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely and then that ugly, old, bald headed, wrinkled faced,
fat-a..ed, gray-haired, decpreit SOB asked, "What did you teach??"
Do you know your MVHS trivia?
What was the name of the prom? (Bali Hai)